Cat Wars, Target Talk, and Coffee Mugs

1. Cat Wars --- well, there is no doubt that Keats is Darth Vader and Tallulah is Luke Skywalker, and so far, Darth seems to be winning even though Luke is quicker.

I put a bell on Tallulah so at least Keats knows she's coming. I've been thinking that the sneak attacks are not good for Keats' heart, mind, or litter box.

2. Target talk --- when I was in Target today, I ran into Caroline, a former student, somewhere in cosmetics or health and beauty. Heath and beauty? You gotta give it to Target -- that's a good euphemism for Advil and cheap lipstick.

She didn't see me, but I saw her, and I said, "Uh, look chickadee, I need to get at the Oil of Olay and you're in my way."

Caroline: Oh, ma'am, I'm sorry.

She immediately backed up and I cackled.

Then she took a look.

Caroline: Mrs. Gillham! Hey. (big hug)

I asked her why she was so polite when obviously I was being so rude.
She said, "I don't pick battles with random people at Target."

Me: Good. Smart girl. There's a life lesson for you. Obviously, a successful graduate of the Academy.

Later in line at Target, which was long since they always seem to be two cashiers short of what they need, I had the pleasure of listening to the guy behind me personal monologue on his Bluetooth.

He was purchasing two huge storage bins and was talking loudly on his Blue Tooth -- you know, how that is -- and at first, I thought he was talking to me.

Bluetooth: YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I TOLD HIM TO MEET ME HALF WAY OR THERE IS NO DEAL. NO DEAL. D - E - A - L. [laughter] .... [pause] I'M AT TARGET STANDING IN LINE TRYING TO BUY SOME STORAGE BINS. I'M TAKING BACK MY HOUSE.

Me: [Yikes, someone has his house]

Bluetooth: YEAH. MY SON IS A MONSTER. I MEAN -- MONSTER. M-O-N-S-T-E-R. HE HAS TOO MANY TOYS, MAN. YESTERDAY, I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE TO BE PUT IN TRACTION AFTER TRIPPING ON ONE OF HIS LEGOS ON THE STAIRS. WE'RE GONNA LET HIM PLAY WITH ONE TOY AT A TIME. THEN HE HAS TO RETURN IT TO HIS ROOM. MEANWHILE I'M GONNA PUT ALL THE REST OF HIS TOYS IN THESE BINS AND HIDE THEM IN MY GARAGE. HA. HA. HA. MY GARAGE. MY HOUSE. TAKIN' BACK DA HOUSE.

Me: Bwha.


3. Coffee Mugs -- I have lots of coffee mugs. Too many -- but I can't get rid of them because most of them have some kind of sentiment for me. Now that I have the time to rotate the mugs in the cabinet, I'm paying attention to each mug and thinking about the person who gave it to me.

Retirement - time to think and ponder and rotate coffee mugs. Heh.

Today's mug was Princeton Mom. It was given to me by Andrew, a former student of mine who, obviously, went to Princeton. When I drink from it, I think of him. I also think of how I am glad I'm not his mom and paying for him to go to Princeton. I also think had I been a mom my kid would not have gone to Princeton. He would have gone to Yale.

Heh.

Yesterday's mug was one of those mugs sold at Barnes and Noble and given to me by Jessica. The mug has Emily Dickinson, Shakespeare, Sylvia Plath, Dante, and Walt Whitman caricatures on the side. If you turn it fast enough, you can make them dizzy. LOL -- like Sylvia Path needed to be dizzier. I try to avoid the side with Walt Whitman; I'm afraid I'll break out into free verse about squirrels or grass.

Tomorrow's mug -- The Legend of the Dogwood -- belonged to my mother. She drank her morning coffee everyday from this mug. It must have had some sentiment for her. *sigh*

Gotta go -- Tallulah just got herself stuck in a kitchen chair. She's mewling mad.

Lawd, as my Alabama girlfriend likes to say.