Who plans pain?

I need, my readers, to comment on my blog.

I have no idea if my three friends and one or two former students are the only ones reading it, or if I have one friend pretending to be all five.

So, comment. Please. I'm lonely.

1. I had no idea that there was such a thing as a Miss Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant. It involves small bikinis, some plastic, and glue. The judges are, or have been, John Salley and three old men. The girls are from Brazil as well as Newnan, Georgia. The website for this admits to being unrefined and tacky and calls itself The Mayor of Wingville. Satellite tv is a mind field of enlightening information.

Only not.



2. I went to Kroger to get a prescription filled today because I can get three months of that prescription for ten dollars. My doctor informed me that I should purchase it at either Wal-mart or Kroger cause they "have the deals." "Deals"? On drugs? I felt like a junkie looking for the best corner.

I don't do Kroger -- I'm a Publix girl -- it's mostly geography and Howard. I haven't been in a Kroger since 1995 when I used to shop there for my parents. I like Kroger.. I like it that I had a friend who made it a verb. "I'm Krogering today."

Heh.

You know that there is nothing more interesting to me than people I don't know. People I know, not so much -- people I don't know, fascinating...

I watched the woman who had put her prescriptions in ahead of mine. She was pretty in that suburbia housewife put together from head to toe kind of way. Cute little khaki pants, designer Flip Flops, diamond studs in the ears, processed blond hair slicked back in a pony tail, expensive watch, and a pressed t-shirt that blazoned Cannes.

She was wandering around in the cosmetic section looking at Herbal Essence shampoo and Breathe Right. Quite the variety of browsing as she waited for the druggist, Danny, to fill her prescription.

With one eye on "perfect woman at the grocery store" and one eye on the freebies, I spent some time taking my own blood pressure (120 over 70, 71 heartbeats per minute) and looking at the wrinkled, dog eared magazines provided by Kroger -- Health Today and Prevention. No People magazine for the old fools picking up their Metamucil and Zantac 150.

I was trying to look interested in my own blood pressure, Soft soap, and "How to lose three inches of belly fat in three weeks" until I hear the "perfect lady" discussing her five medications with Danny. (You have to check a form that the pharmacist "counseled" you on the drugs you were having filled.)

I wasn't eavesdropping, really.

I was only interested in why she was getting five medications. I didn't want to miss a sale, you know.

Really.

Anyway...

She told Danny that she was having "surgery," and she didn't know why she needed all of these "meds."

Danny proceeded to explain that she had a "sleep aid," antibiotics, a antibiotic creme, a drug like Valium, and some kind of narcotic for "pain."

She said, "I'm just having a little liposuction. I wasn't planning on being in pain."

Me: Weren't planning? Bwha.

Then I noticed the sign that stated: "Please stand back in the line as we do not wish to invade any one's privacy."

I peeled off like a oboe playing band member performing a half time show. I felt sheepish and embarrassed, but once she said "liposuction," I was no longer looking at the article on belly fat.

What is she having lipoed?

Those are the kind of things I had to ponder.

Meanwhile, it looks like I'll have to work off my thirty inches of belly fat by cutting carbs and sugar and circling the track at Boots Ward. Yeah, I wasn't planning on any pain either.

"scratches head*

I had a coupon for Blue Bell ice cream. After Danny counseled me on my need to take my meds with food, I sauntered down the freezer aisle and looked for some Moose Tracks. It's food, and I had a coupon.