Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Fat bushes

As the Christmas lights begin to shine from the porches, roofs, and yards of the neighborhoods around me, I have always wondered at the randomness of lighting.

In one yard, the lights will be strung around three windows and one bush. What about the other bushes?

In another yard, the lights will go around the roof line and one lone lighted reindeer will stand in the yard. All by himself. So sad.

In yet another, lights will be draped over three small bushes on one side. The bigger bushes on the other side, forgotten. Forsaken. No bling.

I am kind of feeling bad for the big bush that gets no lights.

Is that because the bush is fat and no one likes a fat bush?

In another yard, one tree on the left side of the yard will be strung with lights. No other lights anywhere.

Next door, the lights are hanging on one side of the railing. On the opposite side of the steps, the lights are on a bush. Why not just put the lights on both sides of the railing?

I think I like symmetry and balance.

Regardless, Christmas lights on houses are random.


Outside Christmas lights are mostly hung by men.

Is there something in their psyche that makes men hang them with this much inequality?

Yesterday, my own husband was putting lights on the deck.
He used five strings and had only gotten about 1/2 way around.

Then he turned them on.

Me: Uh, no. You cannot turn the lights on until you finish the whole deck.
Hubby: Why?
Me: Just cause.
Hubby: Is there a Christmas outside lights etiquette book?
Me: Yes.
Hubby: I'd like to see it.
Me: It's unwritten.
Hubby: Figures.

You guys know what I mean? You can't just do half the deck.
It ain't right.

And no mixing of the white lights with the colored...either all white together and all colored together.

[Sounds like the rules for a prom circa 1965, Mississippi]

*slaps knee and chuckles at own joke*

It ain't right. Outside Christmas lights should not be random.

*shakes head*

It just ain't right.

Just sayin'.


  1. So what do you think of the houses with no lights ;)


  2. I completely agree with you, Aunt Harriet.

    "...one lone lighted reindeer will stand in the yard. All by himself. So sad."

    I always hate when people only put one reindeer in their yard. Don't people read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas? Don't they watch the 1960s Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer cartoon with Burl Ives? Don't they know that reindeer come in groups of eight or more? You can't have just one. That should be in the unwritten book of Christmas Decorating, too.

  3. I put the lights up on our roof! Look at me defying the general stereotype. Also, we put both colored and white lights on our tree and it looks SO pretty. (If you don't believe me I will send you a picture some time, haha.)

    I do agree with the randomness though...some people are just not aware of the importance of symmetry.

  4. We spent most of Sunday hanging giant purple balls from our coconut palms. I had to do all of the ladder work. Looks cool. Gets a little hinky when the wind blows though.

  5. I find myself unable, in good conscience, to respond to this in a proper manner...