"Smurf porn"

I tried to watch the Academy Awards last night... just for a minute.
I was curious to see Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin as co-hosts, but their material was pretty underwhelming, and frankly, I think other than the "stabs" at Meryl Streep (at least these were in the front), and some kind of George Clooney inside joke, I was pretty clueless about what was funny.

And I thought Jeff Bridges [pictured at left] was Kris Kristofferson.

Of course, Matt Damon was there, and I would watch him make breakfast....preferably for me.

Heh.

*twirls*

I hadn't seen any of the nominated movies. Not one.

I feel un-American. I know I'm not doing my job as an American consumer.

Blog readers: Come on now, surely you have seen The Blind Side?
Me: Nope. I just might be the only person in the free world who hasn't seen it, but I haven't.

*hangs head in shame*

Blog readers: What about Avatar?
Me: What about it?

BTW: My friend Jane, who has been known to make some rather illogical statements in the twenty plus years I have known her, told me this:

Jane: Harriett, if you don't see Avatar --- why -- that's like living in the late nineteenth century and refusing to see the French Impressionists.
Me: Really, Jane?
Jane: Really.
Me: Well, the New Yorker called it Smurf porn. Doesn't make me wanna see that in 1-D, much less 3-D.
Jane: So short sighted.
Me: I take it that is not a pun.

Jane waved me away -- like a bad odor or an annoying ninth grader wishing to tell me how many points he scored on his marathon weekend playing Halo.

Blog readers: I don't think they score points.
Me: Whatever.

Anyway, David, expectantly, turned on the Oscars and thought he might be entertained.

We weren't.

Of course, as I have told my friends over the years -- I haven't been impressed with the Oscars since Ghandi beat out E.T. for best picture in 1982.

Blog readers: Are you kidding me?
Me: Nope. I couldn't' believe it either.

*shrugs*