Friday, November 20, 2009

Bonfire for the Vanity

We're having new vanity counters put into our bathrooms. I decided that it was time to clean from under our vanity since I didn't want the workers to think we were slobs, or worse, pack rat slobs with chronic coughs. Geez, I found five half full bottles of cough medicine.

David: Why don't you wait till after the work is done?
Me: I'll have to do it twice. I'm sure there will be vanity dust.
David: Vanity dust? That sounds like something Lindsay Lohan would snort.
Me: Heh. Not that funny.
David: Will you put it on the blog?
Me: Are you reading my blog?
David: No.

Here are the rules for cleaning from under the bathroom vanity:

Rule 1: Wear gloves.

Rule 2: Put your cat in the basement.

Rule 3: Remember that dust does really odd things to a water pik.

Rule 4: Look carefully in all old cosmetic bags. Be prepared to scream.

Rule 5: Put both cats in the basement.

Rule 6: Sit on a towel or a rug. [the tile makes your butt go numb]

Rule 7: Don't think that anyone could possibly want any thing you find under there.

Rule 8: Throw out all free samples without thinking that you could use them as stocking stuffers--- yes, even after they have been dusted and washed.

Rule 9: Never keep cotton balls in an open plastic bag.

Rule 10: Don't try on old glasses. EVAH.

Rule 11: Never clean from under you vanity. Just move and leave it for the next occupant. Whatever you do find, burn it.

ETA: Did you know that toothpaste explodes?

That's all I got...