Saturday, June 5, 2010

Humans on Demand

Before we adopted Tallulah, Keats was on only cat.

Spoiled beyond all that I am willing to admit, she demanded breakfast and dinner on a schedule and water from not only her bowl, but the tub and sink, and meowed loudly if she was removed without her permission from the lap, the newspaper, or the front or back door -- especially if it was shut prematurely, in her humble but accurate, cat opinion. She is the cat. She is the queen. She had her expectations. She let us live with her.

We are her Humans on Demand.

With the arrival of Tallulah, Keats has had to adjust. Even though she still has those annoying scheduling demands, Tallulah added her own expectations to the list of things that have to be done every day.

Every day.

Every day.... or we have unhappy felines. No one wants to live with an unhappy cat -- it's like living with a wolf in the basement.

Tallulah added a sport... the toss and fetch morning and evening routine -- if one of us sits at the desktop computer in the office where the scratch paper is -- that means -- Tallulah gets to play.

Aside: My students would recognize the scratch paper -- I was notorious for my saving of one-sided used copies to be cut in fours and used as scratch paper. Yeah, nerd that I am -- I brought it home to use when I retired. I have a box full of it. NERD. Occasionally, as I use this paper I come across students' names (one time from 1982 -- Hello Mike Smith) from an old "attendance list" or questions from a quiz on "To Build a Fire." [sounds like another blog topic]

*rubs hands together gleefully*

Back to the cats ---

If one of us sits down, Tallulah runs from wherever she is in the house, leaps to the back of the office chair, and then over our heads to the desk, and meows until the paper is wadded and thrown into another room for her to fetch and return. Don't think that you're not a part of this -- forget checking email, online accounts, the blog, or Yahoo News -- it's Tallulah Time. Now.

Like I said, Humans on Demand.

The other cat demands around here, especially in the summer, are for the doors to be open and for them to be allowed to lay in front of the full view storm doors for a peek at the world of the "free" animals.

Note earlier blog: Bird Down.

Yep, according to Keats and Tallulah, those darn varmints and birds are "Freakin' free," and since they (K and T) are held captive here in the land of heat and air-conditioning, freezed-dried pellets of food tasting sorta like fish, chicken, or beef, and clumping litter, they (K and T) like to see how the third world animal kingdom lives.

This morning when I got back from walking, both cats were in a huff and puff -- a kind of cat stand off -- you know, Tombstone, Arizona, and the Showdown at the O. K. Corral.

Only the back door was open, and Keats, squatting there like an activist, held Tallulah off with her "bigger than you" status and a full body extension. Tallulah paced behind her relentlessly. When I came in, they both looked at me and Keats hummed a little "Born Free" and Tallulah sang a little "Free Bird."

Human on Demand.

Me: Okay, okay, I'm opening the front door.

So, when I am here, the doors are open -- and their version of "Lifestyles of the Wild and Free" or "Survivor: Small Suburban Animals" is available for their viewing.

K and T never know when a snake will slither onto the porch, a chipmunk might commit hari-kari, a bird will fly head first into the glass, or a raven will hang on the bird-feeder -- Keats and Tallulah have commercial free "breaking news" live feeds most days ---doesn't matter if they take a snooze in between the action. There is little difference between K & T snoozing in front of the door and David, remote in hand and finger on the channel button, snoozing in his big easy in front of the tube ------- the only difference I can think of is that K & T only have two channels -- front or back --unlike David who has -- I dunno -- 6, 548.

*tee hee*


  1. K and T watch the breaking news feed... Gigi the journalist dog uses her satellite doggy door to run out and REPORT the breaking news of squirrels stealing bird seed, stray cats sauntering along the outside of the fence, neighbors mowing lawns, and birds eating the figs.

    *apologizes to neighbors for high-pitched barking that accompanies any "strange" occurrence in the back yard of Chez Gigi*

  2. Scout is much more pensive. I just read your blog to him. He listened attentively for the first half and then fell asleep. He thinks birds are nothing when you can watch deer all day. Funny entry!

  3. I love this entry! Haha, instead of watching "Lifestyles of the Wild and Free" & "Survivor: Small Suburban Animals", my cats enjoy participating in the programs "Meal or No Meal" & "Police Cats of Cobb County." They are too cool for their own good. =]

  4. Spoiled cats?
    Mine drinks out of his very own glass on my nightstand. And if it isn't fresh, he'll drink mine.