Paparazzi video of the outing prompted "Entertainment Tonight" to wonder if the reason why Jess, 28, outfitted in a clingy black dress, gray wrap and vertiginous ankle-strap stilettos, was being "secretive about her stomach" and "protecting" it from the shutterbugs is because she might be expecting.
I copied and pasted this because I was impressed with the writer's use of "vertiginous" to describe Jess's shoes. Do you suppose people who care about this overrated pop culture vixen can define "vertiginous"? That's what I want to know. *shrugs*
I had lunch with Dr. Parrott at the Cracker Barrel today in Canton, Ga. When I called her on her cell phone to tell her I was running ten minutes behind, she was already giggling. She told me that I must have picked Cracker Barrel because of the fodder it would give me for my blog.
Me: No, I picked it because you gave me three choices -- Cracker Barrel, Longhorn's, and Chick-Fil-A.
The Dr. says she never said "Chick-Fil-A." I beg to differ.
When I arrived for our lunch, she was sitting in one of their signature white rockers on the front porch and grinning. The Dr. and I don't even have to talk -- if we see each other, we crack up for no good reason. The first comment out of her mouth was "no one under 75 years of age has entered the Cracker Barrel." Needless to say, our first guffaw.
The Dr. and I have a long history of "fits and giggles" over pretty much anything. One time, when we worked at HHS, and the school had these spanking new copy machines, we jammed the thing on our first try. By the time we thought we had examined every nook and cranny on the copier machine to see where the jam was, we would find another drawer and burst into laughter. That copier machine had more drawers than Maidenform.
Our "giggles" have been known to make both of us laugh so hard we have to tell the other one to "shut up." When I was Star Teacher at KMHS one time, the principal gave me a book bag which she held up in front of the faculty to show off -- the Dr., who was sitting next to me in the meeting, thought it was a "saddle." She said, "Are you getting a saddle? That looks like a saddle!" [KMHS mascot was the Mustangs ] We fell to laughing so hard at that meeting that I was doing that awkward snorting noise, which, of course, increased the merriment. Good times. Good times. Everyone needs one good friend like that...
I happen to like the Cracker Barrel because whether you order mash potatoes in Gasden, South Carolina, Franklin, Tennessee, or Suwanne, Georgia - it's the same..not the same potatoes, but the same taste, the same look,the same deal. You gotta love a place that brings out mayonnaise packets and individual syrup bottles. That's class. You can't just get that anywhere.
My favorite soap star, Steve Burton, says it's his favorite place to eat in the South. Do you suppose they don't have Cracker Barrels in California? I can't imagine why not. Surely, those folks get tired of tofu, vitamin water, and lettuce. I always wondered if you had to eat that diet so that you could get botox. *scratches head*
The Dr ordered pancakes -- butter, no syrup. (she has the palate of a third grader)
I ordered chicken sandwich with cheese and French fries.
After lunch we took seats back on the porch in two white rockers where we mused and chatted about whatever came to mind. The blog was first. The Dr. is my press agent.
Note I call it THE BLOG -- like it's a horror movie or a stain on the carpet -- but right now I am struggling a little with what to write about... (uh, you can tell?)
Anyhow -- the Dr. and I, not to be confused with The Blog and I, minded the front of the Cracker Barrel until Shannon, Cracker Barrel employee with the worst job (she was putting price tags on the rocking chairs), got close enough to our chairs for us to think we had sat long enough.
The Dr. thinks I have a future as a blogger. I'm not so sure.
ETA: Thanks to Jessica, my former student, who corrected me about my fortunes. She commented that they are not "fortunes" but "advice." Gillham Guidance Cookies? Not sure there is much of a market for those -- good thing I wasn't countin' on that to bring in the dough. No pun intended.
Argh. I hate all this white space!!!!!