Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Well, each day I get up and think that "this is the [fill in the blank] of my new life," but somehow, I don't feel different or like anything new has started. Maybe tomorrow?
Today, I thought to myself:
Self, you are not going there again.
To mimic Hemingway: "In the fall school was always there but I was not going back to it anymore."
I've had 50 of those that I can remember, and they always involve thoughts of "when I go back to school."
So what to do with myself.
1. I think I need to keep the shutters closed -- birds are flying into it like it's the tunnel to heaven and knocking themselves silly. One was knocked so dizzy today, that David picked it up and petted it like it was domesticated. It was stunned... and you know birds -- not that much gray matter to shake. I checked on him a minute ago -- he's sitting in the hen and chicks and muttering to himself.
2. I went to Publix. I ran into a former student, of course. Alex. S. His first question is -- "so what are you doing with yourself, now that you are retired?"
Me: I'm going to the grocery store. You work here?
Alex: Yeah, I work here.
Me: No, I mean work, not that you are employed. Different words.
Alex: Why you gotta be so mean?
Me: Why you wanna know what I'm doing?
*he slinked off into the canned food aisle*
Later I saw him and asked him to take out my groceries. He looked at me like I asked him to read.
Alex: I can't do it. They 'd fire me.
Me: Makes sense to me. Only not.
Publix is always an interesting place. You should have seen the woman juggling five boys like a circus performer. She wasn't smiling..she's was grimacing. She wished school was still in session.
3. I spent a while on I-Tunes, listening to songs recommended to me by a friend. One of them comes from a band named, Theory of a Deadman. *scratches head*
4. I sat on the deck. Lannie, the dog who belongs to the neighbor behind me, barked at me and every blade of grass. She's delusional. She hallucinates. She's looking for sheep to herd. She's a border collie. She wears herself out running back and forth beside the fence. I guess she's looking for something to herd. Keats stares at her and smirks. Bad Keats.
5. I'm reading The Emperor of Ocean Park by Stephen L. Carter, a work of fiction about the upper crust of African American society and the inner circle of an Ivy League law school. The main character's name is Talcott. So far -- is good. I just finished The Laments by George Hagen. I emailed Mr. Hagen and gave him some feedback on his novel. He emailed me back telling me how much he appreciated "my giving time to his work." I should have told him -- yo, buddy, time is what I got.
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